ADHD and Friendships: Helping Your Child Navigate Social Challenges
Why friendships matter for kids with ADHD
Friends are more than playmates. They teach negotiation, empathy and self-worth. Yet children with ADHD often find friendship the hardest subject in their weekly timetable. Impulsivity, missed social cues and emotional swings can turn playground fun into confusion or conflict. The good news is that social skills are teachable, and a supportive network of adults can guide children toward meaningful connections.
Common social hurdles for children with ADHD
Interrupting and talking too much- Fast thoughts spill out before they are filtered, which can annoy peers.
Difficulty reading body language- Subtle cues like eye rolling or crossed arms may pass unnoticed.
Inconsistent attention- A child might drift mid-conversation, making friends feel ignored.
Emotional spikes- Big reactions to small setbacks can scare classmates away.
Rule bending- Impulsivity leads to skipping turns or changing game rules, causing group frustration.
How age affects social challenges
Early primary (5 to 8 years)- Play is unstructured and physical. Children with ADHD may push or grab without meaning harm. Simple rules and quick games work best.
Middle primary (9 to 11 years)- Conversation and shared projects grow in importance. Missing sarcasm or talking over peers becomes more obvious.
Early high school (12 to 15 years)- Friend groups rely on subtle humour and loyalty. Forgetting plans or monopolising discussions can create social fractures.
Practical strategies parents can use at home
Role-play scenarios- Act out greeting a classmate, asking to join a game or handling losing. Short daily rehearsals build muscle memory.
Use visual cue cards- A pocket card that reads Listen – Wait – Respond reminds a child to pause.
Teach one skill at a time- Focus on eye contact this week, turn-taking next week. Mastery is easier in small bites.
Label emotions aloud- “I see you feel frustrated because your turn ended.” Naming feelings models self-awareness.
Board games for practice- Games like Uno and Jenga teach turn order and handling defeat in low-stakes settings.
Partnering with the school
Meet the classroom teacher early each term. Share the specific skill your child is practising, such as waiting before speaking.
Request cues that are private and positive, for example the teacher taps the desk twice to signal “pause and listen.”
Encourage peer-buddy systems. Many schools pair students for projects; selecting a patient buddy sets up success.
Ask about social-skills lunch groups run by counsellors or learning support staff.
Coaching friendships in extracurricular settings
Sport teams- Choose positions that match energy. A midfield role in soccer allows movement and brief bursts of focus.
Music or drama- Group rehearsals improve listening and timing skills. Praise the moments your child waits for cues.
Scouts or Guides- Structured badge systems give clear rules, helping children see cause and effect in social effort.
Handling rejection and conflict
Rejection hurts, but it is also a teaching moment.
Validate feelings- “It is sad when a friend says no. That feeling fits the situation.”
Review the event calmly- Use questions: What happened first, next, last? Which part can we change next time?
Practice repair scripts- “I am sorry I shouted. Can we start again?” Rehearse until the words feel natural.
Expand friend circles- Encourage activities in different settings so one tough day does not erase all social contact.
When to consider professional help
Frequent loneliness or school refusal
Physical fights or bullying on either side
Anxiety before social events that causes stomach aches or headaches
Teachers report your child plays alone most days
A psychologist can run small group programs that teach perspective taking, flexible thinking and emotion regulation. Occupational therapists often add sensory strategies to help body control during group play.
Supporting self-advocacy as children grow
Teach a short explanation- “I have ADHD so I get excited and talk fast. Remind me to wait and I will.”
Encourage planning ahead- Before a party discuss how to say hello, when to take a break and how to leave politely.
Model healthy friendships- Show your own listening skills and boundary setting so children see relationships as two-way streets.
Key resources
Book for kids – “ADHD Is Our Superpower” by Soli Lazarus
Book for parents – “Socially ADDept” by Janet Z Miller
App – “Peppy Pals” teaches emotional cues through stories
Support groups – ADHD Kids Melbourne on Facebook for local play-date connections
Take-home messages
ADHD affects social skills but every challenge can be broken into teachable steps.
Combine role-play at home, teacher cues at school and structured extracurriculars for full-circle practice.
Address rejection with empathy and review, not blame.
Professional group programs offer a safe lab for learning friendship rules.
Celebrate every social win, no matter how small, to reinforce progress.
Need tailored social-skills coaching or an ADHD assessment?
Gayton Psychology helps children build real-world friendship tools through evidence-based interventions and one-on-one support.
Phone 0422 651 697
Web gaytonpsychology.com
Email katherine@gaytonpsychology.com
Friendships flourish when kids know the rules, trust their strengths and have a cheer squad behind them.